How to Talk to Your Children about Divorce

Zachary Mushkatel | Family Law
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    If you are considering divorce and you have school-age children, one of your biggest concerns may be how to tell your child or children about the divorce. Your desire to shield them from anger, frustration, pain, and fear may be great, and you may wonder how much they understand.

    familyNo matter how you decide to finally share the news, it is important to remember that children need as much stability as possible throughout the divorce process. Regular reminders that their parents still love them and will take care of them can go a long way, as will attempts by you and your spouse to create a parenting plan the child can understand and that meets the child’s best interests.

    Here are some tips for choosing how to talk to your kids about divorce:

    • Timing is important. The younger a child is the more confusing it is to hear that Mom and Dad are “thinking about” divorce. It is often best to tell children after you have decided for certain that the divorce will take place. Also, choose a time when you and your child can sit down quietly to discuss the divorce: times like just before school, sports practice, or bedtime don’t give you and your child the chance to talk, cry, or deal with other initial reactions.
    • Stay united. Even if you and your spouse disagree on every other issue, try to agree on what you will tell your child – and then tell it together. Sticking together demonstrates that the decision is mutual and that, while you may be separating from one another, you and your spouse are not separating from your child.
    • Keep it simple. Explain things in terms your child can understand. For young children, this may mean stating what is going to happen in clear terms, avoiding words like “divorce” that may not yet be in their vocabularies. Older children may understand the difference between “divorce” and a trial separation, and so an arrangement can be explained in terms they understand.

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    If you are considering divorce in Peoria, Arizona, the skilled Arizona divorce attorneys at Mushkatel, Gobbato, & Kile, P.L.L.C. can help. Contact us today at our Peoria, Sun City, or Phoenix offices to learn more.

    Author: Zachary Mushkatel
    Zachary Mushkatel

    Zachary Mushkatel is a founding attorney of Mushkatel, Gobbato, & Kile, P.L.L.C., who has practiced law in Arizona since 2004.

    He also practices before the U.S. District Court for the District of Arizona and the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit.

    A graduate of the University of Arizona and the University of Minnesota Law School, he started his career as a public defender and entered private practice in criminal defense.

    In 2008, Zachary co-founded a firm dedicated to civil law in addition to criminal defense, and he has since expanded his practice to personal injury, estate planning and litigation, guardianships, conservatorships, probate, corporate litigation, real estate, and various civil matters.

    He serves on the board and faculty of the Arizona College of Trial Advocacy, and he is a past president and current member of the West Maricopa County Bar Association.

     

    Admitted to Arizona Bar – 2004

    Years of Experience – More than 20 years

    Named Super Lawyer in Arizona 2022- 2025

     

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